Please Tell Me You Didn’t Do It


Please tell me you didn’t stand in line for hours just to get the new iPhone 4. You just had to be one of the first people in your city with the new iPhone. You mean to tell me you stood over the river and through the woods and didn’t even go to grandma’s house. Furthermore, if you would have gone to grandma’s house you would have known that she needed you to pick her up some denture cream. She called you on your 3GS phone (which you’ve only had for one year and five days), while you stood downwind of the dude who wore a diaper so he wouldn’t have to get out of line. You told her you would call her back when you got your new iPhone 4. Then when you finally got your iPhone 4 you couldn’t receive any calls because you lost reception when you held your new phone in your left (yes, your hand disrupts the reception!) Now guess what you get to stand in line to buy .  . .  a $15-$30 cover so your phone won’t drop calls. Then you rushed home to use your iPhone 4’s FaceTime feature to make a video conference call to the person you met while you stood in line at the Apple store. Once home, do you call your grandma?  Take a bath? No, you start sexviding (explicit video content shared through the FaceTime video conference) with your new friend from the line! Yet little did you know that your mother and a couple of your neighbors picked up your Wi-Fi signal for the show of a life time. Well I thought of some things you could have done to not embarrass yourself and not get sweaty and stank waiting for your new iPhone.

10. You could have printed out some coupons from HoneyBaked and feed a few families with the money you spent on the iPhone 4.

9. You could have started a protest against the people trying to get toys taken out of McDonald’s Happy Meals.

8. You could have spent the day reevaluating the relationship you have with your current phone.

7. You could have watched the news and realized that the box of Kellogg’s Corn Pops you were eating while waiting in line had been recalled.

6. You could have spent all day watching Star Wars: Old Republic Jedi vs. Sith trailers.

5. You could have Tweeted with Pee Wee Herman all day.

4. You could have went to On The Border and created your own combo then donated money to help fight breast cancer.

3. You could have spent the day organizing a party to pay tribute to the king of pop Michael Jackson.

2. You could have watched Mr. I.T. so he could show you how to upgrade your iPad and you would have never thought about standing in line for the iPhone 4.

1. You could have watched the Hour of Power and learned a great lesson for the day.